You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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