East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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