The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
