he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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