Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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