My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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