She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
