I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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