guys are only as good as the porn they watch
He felt like a one man threesome
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
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