I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
