I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize
