The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
