So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
