as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 609 share tweet
This is my gift to your gina
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Randomize
