to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
