It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
