We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
