Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
