That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
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