you would pick up someone in the library
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
