all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
