Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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