I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
the day after is always just damage control
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
