But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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