Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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