That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
