I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Please don't give away my fajitas
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
