I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
