You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
