I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
