My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Randomize
