OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
