I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
