CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
