protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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