Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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