He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
