doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
