I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
