I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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