I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Is it penis luge time yet?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Randomize
