he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
