haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
