Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
