i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
