i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
