your thong is hanging out like whoa
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
