I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
