matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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