You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
She bit a glass in half.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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