My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
