we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
