I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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