i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
