awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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